From the words of Kathy...
Dear mom,
I'am sorry I never told you the truth about my abortion for so long. I told you I was having minor surgery-female problems. Remember?...And what really kills me the most is that you and Daddy came to see me that night in the hospital...I was so scared--scared you'd find out what really happened that day. Man, I was hurting inside. And there you two were standing at the foot of my bed extending your love and concern. Mom, didn't you notice I couldn't even look you in the eyes? And over the years the times I turned from you whenever the abortion issue was raised? I can still see your face the moment I finally told you. Eight years later..You never looked up at me...[and] you sat quietly and gently spoke to me. Just as long as I kept my shameful secret, you were willing to keep it too...Oh how I wish you had been able to talk about it....to cry with me, to help me get through that horrible time. You knew it all...but we never talked. I was so desperately alone..
Quotes from Burke, T., with Reardon, D. (2002). Forbidden grief: The unspoken pain of abortion (pp. 51, 55, 56). Springfield, IL: Acorn.
Cited from Nursing Ethics: Across the curriculum and into practice, Butts, J., and Rich, K.
Sometimes women perceive that they cannot express their grief because they fear that no one wants to hear about it. They may believe that they cannot discuss the abortion or loss of their fetus with anyone because it needs to be kept a deep dark secret. Also, women may believe that they do not have permission to grieve for the loss of their fetus, and therefore they experience extreme sorrow. This type of grief is called disenfranchised grief.
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